ohhh boy here we go again

I'm so frustrated. It's like I try to sabotage my own happiness. I have no idea how a relationship works, and I think sometimes I'm so afraid to seem clingy that I go to the opposite extreme. And then I wind up getting really mad at the situation and at myself because I really wanted to do what I pretended not to. I make no sense. Seriously. I can't even understand myself, sooo good luck to everyone else around me. But then again I don't know why I'm even bothered by any of this, because I didn't belong there anyway. None of his friends fucking like me, so I guess it's better I found something else to do. I have to start being more independent to avoid putting myself in uncomfortable situations and starting problems that can just be avoided altogether. I know my friends like me. I might as well surround myself with those who don't think I'm a giant ball of shit. Gah. Fuck this shit.