too stubborn for love

So I'm fucking things up again. It's like I intentionally set out to sabotage the best part of my life. If I were someone else, I'd be capable of letting things go, but here I am. Me. I don't know. There's so much neediness inside of me: a constant need for acceptance, validation, approval. And if I don't get it, I don't know what to do with myself. I have no idea how long he's going to put up with this nonsense, and I guess that's part of the problem too, waiting to see just when he's going to break. So this just kind of adds to the pile of things I hate about myself. Which sets the cycle back in motion. Fuck.